Tiny Rages - Page 6 of 6 - The misadventures of a middle aged misanthrope

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    Daily Life, Existential Weird

    I Tried Communicating Like a Cephalopod and Changed Color During Meetings

    My adventures began shortly after a 72-hour research marathon into cephalopod communication. As Mei likes to say, I’ve entered what I like to refer to...

    carl
    by carl
    My adventures began shortly after a 72-hour research marathon into cephalopod communication. As Mei likes to say, I’ve entered what I like to refer to as a “Knowledge spiral.” The point at which I research something so much that my very biology catches up with me and concepts like sleep and food are no longer...
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    Tech Fails

    The Day I Realized My Body Is Fighting a Constant War Against Gravity

    I was waiting in line at the coffee shop yesterday morning when it dawned on me. My legs were tired, my shoulders felt squished, and...

    carl
    by carl
    I was waiting in line at the coffee shop yesterday morning when it dawned on me. My legs were tired, my shoulders felt squished, and my lower back was sore. Every single one of my muscles was screaming in perfect disharmony just how weird it feels to be a living, upright human being. But instead...
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    Tech Fails

    When Your ‘Intelligent’ Devices Outwit You

    I didn’t plan on living in the future. One smart device at a time, piece by piece, I found myself arguing with appliances before my...

    carl
    by carl
    I didn’t plan on living in the future. One smart device at a time, piece by piece, I found myself arguing with appliances before my first cup of coffee. Rolling out of bed and into a black all leather ‘living in the future’ jumpsuit felt like surreal flexing. Many refer to them as ‘smart’ homes...
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    Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails

    Tech Support Scripts That Never Address Your Problem

    I didn’t want to call tech support yesterday. Honest to God, I didn’t. But my printer started flashing lights at me that I’d never seen...

    carl
    by carl
    I didn’t want to call tech support yesterday. Honest to God, I didn’t. But my printer started flashing lights at me that I’d never seen before and making god-knows-what kind of noise that sounded suspiciously like a hamster getting creamed in a fan. “It’ll be fine,” I thought smugly. “I’ll call the helpline. It will...
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    Daily Life, Existential Weird, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery

    I Blame Bluey for My Children’s Unrealistic Expectations of My Parenting Abilities

    Yesterday afternoon I was hiding behind the couch at 3: 47PM, sneakily eating a chocolate biscuit whilst my four-year-old pottered around the living room chanting...

    carl
    by carl
    Yesterday afternoon I was hiding behind the couch at 3: 47PM, sneakily eating a chocolate biscuit whilst my four-year-old pottered around the living room chanting “Mummy? Where are you? I wanna play keepy-uppy!” Keepy-uppy isn’t a real game – it’s something she made up after one of her countless repeat viewings of Bluey where I...
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    Existential Weird, Tech Fails

    What Happened When I Tried to Calculate the Butterfly Effect of My Sneezes

    It began as an ordinary Tuesday morning until I sneezed and sent my coffee mug flying across the table. Now, it wasn’t the greatest sneeze...

    carl
    by carl
    It began as an ordinary Tuesday morning until I sneezed and sent my coffee mug flying across the table. Now, it wasn’t the greatest sneeze of all time—there was this one time I almost got evicted for making the downstairs neighbors complain—but it was enough to cause the near-death of my research notes with coffee...
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    Existential Weird

    Why Ive Started Measuring Conversations in Information Density

    For the past month or so, I’ve been living and—let’s be honest—loving by a new system. This system redefines my entire existence around information density....

    carl
    by carl
    For the past month or so, I’ve been living and—let’s be honest—loving by a new system. This system redefines my entire existence around information density. You see, as a scientist, I spend my life analyzing data many people believe does not need to be analyzed. Graphing things that probably shouldn’t be graphed. So really, I...
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    Existential Weird

    Living With the Knowledge That My Cells Dont Know Theyre Part of Me

    I realized I was having a problem sometime between hours three and four of watching cells divide under my hacked-together microscope. I was conducting an...

    carl
    by carl
    I realized I was having a problem sometime between hours three and four of watching cells divide under my hacked-together microscope. I was conducting an experiment on mitochondria in cells I harvested from my own cheek. “You’re spiraling again,” Mei would say. But this was science! I was trying to measure mitochondrial output in my...
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