Tiny Rages - Page 3 of 6 - The misadventures of a middle aged misanthrope

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    Daily Life, Modern Annoyances

    The Innovative Food Delivery Robot That Blocks Sidewalks

    Last Tuesday I was walking home from the shops when I nearly tripped over something on wheels. It looked vaguely like a cooler bag on...

    carl
    by carl
    Last Tuesday I was walking home from the shops when I nearly tripped over something on wheels. It looked vaguely like a cooler bag on steroids. The box-shaped thing was waddling slowly down the pavement, humming quietly like my Hoover. There was a little flag poking out of the top proclaiming cheerfully that there was...
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    Existential Weird, Wellness Mockery

    Why Ive Started Viewing Sleep as an Alternate Universe Experience

    Sleep has always been weird for me. Not insomnia weird—I’ve struggled with that too during my most intensive bouts of experimentation—but ontologically weird. You see,...

    carl
    by carl
    Sleep has always been weird for me. Not insomnia weird—I’ve struggled with that too during my most intensive bouts of experimentation—but ontologically weird. You see, I’m a scientist. I like to know how stuff works. Yet every day I spend about a third of my life unconscious. I sat upright in bed on Tuesday around...
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    Daily Life, Modern Annoyances

    Microwave Mishaps: The Tragic Tale of a Burnt Dinner

    On Tuesday, I stared into my microwave and realized I have wasted my time and energy transforming a frozen lasagna into radioactive soup. The edges...

    carl
    by carl
    On Tuesday, I stared into my microwave and realized I have wasted my time and energy transforming a frozen lasagna into radioactive soup. The edges were crispy, and sure they looked deliciously golden brown as if some of it wasn’t frozen, but not nearly what I had hoped for. The cheese hardened to the side...
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    Modern Annoyances

    Gym Time Gone Awry: Treadmills, Dance Floors, and Other Misadventures

    Disclaimer: This membership was not gained through any self-transformative journeys, new years resolutions or life-coach mumbo jumbo. My doctor told me that I was overly...

    carl
    by carl
    Disclaimer: This membership was not gained through any self-transformative journeys, new years resolutions or life-coach mumbo jumbo. My doctor told me that I was overly healthy (“Well beyond passionate!”) and that I should “try starting to move around some more.” I am now prepared to bust out some good ol’ fashioned splits. “I want you...
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    Tech Fails

    What Happened When I Measured the Entropy of My Living Room

    The whole thing began with what seemed like a completely reasonable question in the wee hours of one morning. It was 3:47 AM. You know...

    carl
    by carl
    The whole thing began with what seemed like a completely reasonable question in the wee hours of one morning. It was 3:47 AM. You know that time when you’re half asleep but it’s also early enough that you know your alarm will go off in exactly 3 hours and 13 minutes and you think to...
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    Daily Life, Existential Weird, Modern Annoyances

    Neighborhood Nosiness: When Suburban Life Feels Like a Reality Show

    And just like that it happened again yesterday. I rolled my trash bin to the curb at 7: 58, ten minutes past my normal 7:30...

    carl
    by carl
    And just like that it happened again yesterday. I rolled my trash bin to the curb at 7: 58, ten minutes past my normal 7:30 pick-up time and by noon I had heard from three different neighbors asking me about my ‘new schedule’. Mrs. Berkowitz peeked over her white picket fence and asked me if...
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    Existential Weird

    How I Accidentally Created a New Species in My Compost Bin

    It began innocently enough. Why waste food when you can compost it? Before I go on, let me just say that I consider myself to...

    carl
    by carl
    It began innocently enough. Why waste food when you can compost it? Before I go on, let me just say that I consider myself to be a composting aficionado. Browns mixed thoroughly with greens, decomposers attended to by-products of decomposition—you get the idea. Composting is hardly rocket science. Feed fruit flies and they’ll multiply until...
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    Daily Life, Tech Fails

    Contactless Catastrophes: When Your Card Refuses to Tap In

    For the first time the cashier gestured and said “just tap it” I had no idea what she was talking about. I held my card...

    carl
    by carl
    For the first time the cashier gestured and said “just tap it” I had no idea what she was talking about. I held my card like a caveman coaxing fire from two sticks. I never claimed to live life outside of the box and might I add this was literally the definition of box telling...
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    Daily Life, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery

    Measuring My Worth in Step Count and Other Metrics of Self-Hatred

    For a long time, I thought I was doing pretty well at being human. Living day to day, not totally sucking at adulting, occasionally calling...

    carl
    by carl
    For a long time, I thought I was doing pretty well at being human. Living day to day, not totally sucking at adulting, occasionally calling my mum – you know, normal stuff. But then I started assessing my self-worth in terms of numbers on apps, and let me tell you…it’s been a nightmare. It started...
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    Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails

    Elevator Escapades: Trapped in a Vertical Limbo

    I remember taxis. Actual taxis, painted brilliant yellow and drivers who sat high upon their perches like gracious tyrants over this kingdom they ruled. You...

    carl
    by carl
    I remember taxis. Actual taxis, painted brilliant yellow and drivers who sat high upon their perches like gracious tyrants over this kingdom they ruled. You could whistle for them. They’d whistle back and shuffle right over to you. They weren’t perfect and were hardly close to it, but they were tryinс hard to not be...
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