Tiny Rages - Page 4 of 6 - The misadventures of a middle aged misanthrope

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Daily Life
My Collection of Journals Too Pretty to Actually Write In
Yesterday I bought another journal. I know. I have seventeen already – I counted them this morning. Actually sat down and counted them in a...
by carl 2 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Yesterday I bought another journal. I know. I have seventeen already – I counted them this morning. Actually sat down and counted them in a fit of embarrassed introspection while trying to find somewhere to hide the new one. Seventeen leather-bound, fabric-covered, beautiful nothingness journals. The newest one is marbled with swirls of white and...

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Daily Life, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery
The Vitamin Regimen That Turned My Urine Neon Yellow
Three months ago, I decided I needed to upgrade to Version 2.0 of myself. With the power of science and vitamins. If you spend any...
by carl 2 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Three months ago, I decided I needed to upgrade to Version 2.0 of myself. With the power of science and vitamins. If you spend any amount of time on Instagram at 1am eating Cheese and Onion Doritos out of the bag (which, let’s be honest, we all do), you’ve probably seen these: dewy, glowing people...

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Daily Life, Existential Weird, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery
Books on My Shelf That Judge Me Every Time I Watch Netflix
I consider myself to have decent taste. I own a record player. I know more than three French directors. Hell, I’ve even visited museums of...
by carl 2 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I consider myself to have decent taste. I own a record player. I know more than three French directors. Hell, I’ve even visited museums of my own free will. But every evening at around 9 PM, all my progress in the cultural Olympics evaporates as I plop down on my couch, grab the remote and...

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Daily Life, Existential Weird, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery
Social Media Posts That Say Live in the Moment While Clearly Not
Yesterday, I watched a woman meticulously prepare her smoothie bowl for forty-five minutes. Right there in the café where I was trying to work. First...
by carl 2 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Yesterday, I watched a woman meticulously prepare her smoothie bowl for forty-five minutes. Right there in the café where I was trying to work. First she carefully placed slices of strawberries in a perfect semicircle around the edge of the bowl. Then blueberries, placing each one individually. Banana slices. Tiny spoonfuls of chia seeds. Her...

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Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails
Streaming Queue Quagmire: The Never-Ending ‘What to Watch?’
On Friday evening, freshly traumatized from back-to-back meetings that should have been conducted over Zoom, coworkers who relentlessly yapped without understanding competence, I took my...
by carl 2 weeks ago3 weeks ago

On Friday evening, freshly traumatized from back-to-back meetings that should have been conducted over Zoom, coworkers who relentlessly yapped without understanding competence, I took my seat on my couch couch to enjoy what should have been passive activity: mindlessly watching TV. I didn’t think I’d just be watching TV though—I planned to sit back, relax,...

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Modern Annoyances
Selfie Invasion: When Everyone’s Their Own Star
I was recently snapped at the Natural History Museum staring at a girl taking pictures of herself in front of a dinosaur skeleton. She was...
by carl 3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I was recently snapped at the Natural History Museum staring at a girl taking pictures of herself in front of a dinosaur skeleton. She was around 20-24 years old and the skeleton was around 150 million years old. Also staring was myself. I was there just observing like a ninja taking in the essence of...

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Daily Life, Existential Weird, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery
Ride-Share Roulette: The Mystery of the Unpredictable Pickup
I remember taxis. Actual taxis, painted brilliant yellow and drivers who sat high upon their perches like gracious tyrants over this kingdom they ruled. You...
by carl 3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I remember taxis. Actual taxis, painted brilliant yellow and drivers who sat high upon their perches like gracious tyrants over this kingdom they ruled. You could whistle for them. They’d whistle back and shuffle right over to you. They weren’t perfect and were hardly close to it, but they were tryinс hard to not be...

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Tech Fails
ATM Amnesia: When Machines Seem to Forget You Exist
The feeling you’re utterly helpless is stranger than any time when you’re stood infront of an ATM. You insert your card, you enter your PIN,...
by carl 3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

The feeling you’re utterly helpless is stranger than any time when you’re stood infront of an ATM. You insert your card, you enter your PIN, and finally you select your desired option; now you must stand there on a crowded public walk with no semblance of privacy as the machine clicks and whirs away, trying...

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Daily Life, Existential Weird, Modern Annoyances, Tech Fails, Wellness Mockery
How I Ended Up Anthropomorphizing My Data Points
It began innocently enough. A simple spreadsheet logging how much coffee I drank each day. Date, amount drunk, simple happiness index. There was nothing unusual...
by carl 3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

It began innocently enough. A simple spreadsheet logging how much coffee I drank each day. Date, amount drunk, simple happiness index. There was nothing unusual about tracking information on my day-to-day habits. Except I’m not normal and what started as data tracking turned into something my girlfriend Mei likes to call “your unhealthy obsession with...

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Modern Annoyances
The Time I Tried to Create a Unified Theory of My Bad Decisions
Disclaimer: this story contains only one existential crisis. Any resemblance to other crises you’ve had is purely coincidental. It began, of course, with a spreadsheet....
by carl 3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Disclaimer: this story contains only one existential crisis. Any resemblance to other crises you’ve had is purely coincidental. It began, of course, with a spreadsheet. No. Full disclosure: it began with me standing in front of my open refrigerator at 3AM. I was holding my credit card bill and wondering how I’d ever gotten to...

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